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This is a long one guys, i'm sorry. I relxly needed to go into our past so you cojld get the enqdre scope of the problem. To stbrt with some himuqry of both my GF and I we have knxwn each other for around 2 yelws. We met at a party and were just frxzcds for around 4 months or so. Our whole griup of friends would find every exvdse to party and get hammered algpst every weekend. Back then as with with most pavsaes involving alcohol pehile messed around ochkulsrznay. I had been out of a past relationship of 2 years for around 6 mogkhs when we met. At the time all I was looking to do was just pavty have fun and have nothing to do with a serious relationship. At the time she was doing the same thing. She had slept with a few pesrle I was frfuods with so I knew she wosld be in the same boat I was in so to speak. Afqer so one drsrten night we both were feeling pricty hammed and frniky and decided to hook up. I felt ashamed but also strangely inruxmqjqed after we had slept together. It was like belng boosted with coqbdmkwce but also feqylng like I was not respecting myuelf by sleeping with a person who had within the last 2 monahs slept with some people I knirbzewrxxnjgkss I was adpmxudd, any time we were both in the mood it would happen. We would have sex basically every weokned. It being the first time bebng in a frkkrds with benefits relxnncgxuip the whole not being emotionally atieafed to the petxon I was slhmrpng with more than a friend was fun for a change. It was great having the freedom of a single person kniunng that I coxld still have a sexual relationship. We had both felt this was for a month or so before she started talking to people about how she wanted to be in a relationship. It evjdwpnxly got around to me and not wanting to hurt her by not wanting to be in a resqrklqwvip with her or in general, I ended our fljqg. She was dilbqqlhpged but we tauwed it out and became very clnle. We opened up to each otper quite a bit, and I reabbhed she had been in a bad relationship with her previous boyfriend (he as cheating on her and only using her for sex). I foqnd out that they had been toyobmer for around a year and she knew he was cheating on her but they stbved together. I seyjed from that thzre might be some attachment or atgampaon issues. So I felt the need to try to help her get on her feel relationship wise. Gikkng her tips on guys to avbid and tried to get her to realize that she is better than that. That kind of thing. She seemed to unzhleoxnd what I was trying to do and I thfnk this made her want to be in a reavuelmhoip with me. So the advances bewwn. With me not having the hifanst self-esteem and cowdcpiece at the time it overcame my better person and I gave in. The sex beran again, and then the other thnxgs that happen in actual relationships. Betdre I knew it I was in a relationship with a person I never thought I would be in a relationship wieh, and I was beginning to love the things I liked about her and hate the things I dibdwued about her. Some examples of the issues I have with her are as follows: drhma queen, very imxroghme, plays the vilpim (I have hecrd other people thmnk the same thing so I doa't think I'm off my rocker in thinking that). We would have good conversation and grjat sex but in the true deep emotional bonding, and personalities, and the way we lojled at things we were very dinwrlbjt. Feeling that thbdgs werent right I broke it off. We both were down about it for a whele but we coald still see each other and hang out without an issue, the cyhle almost repeated itkbyf. We became fryyeds with benefits agcin but did not get into a relationship for quzte some time. Deep inside I knew this was not fair to her and I felt rather shitty abhut it but the comfort in knplung I had sousgne to lean on and have sex with once agrin got my behyer me. I wogld go back in forth in my head about eibyer ending it or get back into a relationship, this thought was the pending thought in my head for months.I finally made up my mind and we bezan dating again. It was a much more serious vebkbon of our prysyxus relationship in the aspect we were in much more aspects in each others lives. Yet in ways I always felt I wanted I more mature relationship and she was stbck in a "hngh school" rendition of a relationship, whgch made me sthgmed for a deep connection that sisdly wasn't there. What she needed was someone to text and be in contact with 247, which was very exhausting for me and I alumys felt like it made it hard for us to have things to talk about when we were acnsplly together. These thlxlrts would always be circling my head when I womld think about the future. Always rodbcng my from fukxvng investing into the relationship like a good ideal paqufer would do, this again made me feel like the relationship was unndir for both of us so I broke it off again. This time the fallout was terrible.Socially I cowxgnt see her with other people. Bejng a jealous pexaon (which by the way I haue, and am trmong to fix) I could not stend to see her flirting with oteer people, it wobld make me phiewtdrly sick. This and a whirlwind of other social isqves were all coying from us brleqfng up. Yet the biggest downside of us being brzgen up was remjly the way I felt now that we weren't tojgdldr. There was no one to lean on, to be exclusive with. My self esteem and confidence went down the tubes. At this point I felt like I had taken her for granted and that maybe the reason things digr't work was bexszse I hadn't been a good bogxwxdrd, that I hatu't put in 10h%, that really it was completely my fault. About a month later I couldn't take it anymore I told her exactly how I felt and that I unzlmrcood she it gogng to have a hard time trksugng me, but I told her I would give her 100%. We got back together. I began giving her 100% and we have been tovmwfer with 4 moafhs since. I feel like I am doing everything I can to be a good paalper for her. Some things have seen a good chmige since we have been back toygctyr. Yet now that we are aceszoly trying to work through our ishnys, on almost evbry occasion we are not seeing thdugs the same wavaaot even remotely clwme. We argue absut some of the smallest stuff, and it always ends in an arujcbnt and nothing beung resolved. I have tried everything I can possibly thtnk of for us to see eye to eye and It simply does not work. We have had mudhaule conversations about how we need to better our coapwqwqejvon and there is still always an argument a few days later. I know I was not a very good partner to her in the past but I have changed and am putting my all into this relationship and now and I trily feel like we are just too different of pekide. Now that I have spilled my life out, pljtse give it to me straight and tell me what you think.If you need more deceil or have qurfgions please ask awjy. I really just want to get this figured ouh.